Resonate Better - Hear It How They Do

Let’s move beyond the solid foundation of "meeting people where they are."

Maybe we can foster better shared awareness and alignment if we can continue building upon where we meet someone and join them in how they got there and where they’re trying to go.

In leadership, we talk a lot about empathy. We talk about seeking first to understand. We talk about meeting people where they are. But often, we arrive at "where they are" still wearing our own shoes, carrying our own baggage, and looking through our own glasses. This can often bring about a superficial show of empathy and garner a superficial outcome. Sometimes there is a clear presentation of a true concern and understanding for the point in which we encounter someone and we harness a legitimately good outcome.

And maybe, there is another link to consider, to continue our growth as leaders.

To truly connect, we may need to go one step further. We need to actually Hear It How They Do.

When we hear it how they do, this concept challenges us to drop the executive translation and peel back the leadership overlay that we run in our heads. It asks us to pause our strategic brain and engage our empathetic brain. And then, process the issues as-if we were actually sitting on their side of the table. (*Bonus Level* - is to really recognize and acknowledge how the other person got to the point that is presented in front of you.)

When a team member shares a struggle or new idea; a client shares feedback; your supervisor sends out a memo with new directives; are you hearing it through the filter of your personal or business agendas? Or are you hearing the genuine friction, emotion, and viewpoint they are living through? People have a lot going on and their encounter with you at that moment is just one of a multitude of factors in their life. Maybe pause for a second to see what else may be involved, what the deeper concerns are, what the ultimate goal really is.

When you convey a message to others, are you communicating it in a way that actually attaches to them personally, so that they understand your intended impact? Your exact same message and intent may need to be conveyed in a variety of ways to reach the core of a wide variety of people and situations. Are you conveying things in a manner so that if you were them, you would hear it in a way that makes sense to them, and as a bonus was appealing and valuable to them?

True resonance happens when we stop projecting our perspective onto others and start honoring theirs.

Sometimes things are pretty simple and straightforward, but when there could be more to the story, Let’s Try Hearing It How They Do.